Marriage: Partnership or Possession? A Biblical and Secular Perspective

Marriage is one of the most profound relationships, often described as a union of two becoming one. But what does this oneness mean—does it imply partnership or possession? In a world where phrases like “my man” or “my woman” are common, it's easy to conflate love with ownership. From a biblical standpoint, however, marriage transcends the concept of possession, emphasizing mutual submission, sacrificial love, and unity under God. This article delves into the biblical teaching on marriage for New Testament believers, contrasts it with societal norms, and explores how couples can foster a Christ-centered, healthy relationship.

Biblical Perspective on Marriage

• Unity and Oneness: The Bible portrays marriage as a sacred covenant marked by oneness. This concept is grounded in Scripture: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." Ephesians 5:31 (quoting Genesis 2:24).  This unity signifies a deep partnership rather than ownership. A husband and wife are joined together, not as property, but as equal participants in a divine relationship reflecting God's love.

• Mutual Submission: The New Testament stresses the importance of mutual submission in marriage: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."  Ephesians 5:21. This teaching challenges societal notions of possession. Instead of domination or control, the Bible calls spouses to serve one another selflessly. Husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church, offering sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:25-28), while wives are encouraged to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33).

• Belonging to Christ: Ultimately, believers—whether married or single—belong to Christ: "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. This truth redefines how couples view their relationship. While they are united as one, their ultimate loyalty and identity lie in their relationship with God. This perspective elevates marriage beyond earthly possession to a spiritual partnership.

Facts of Life in the Secular World

• Exclusivity and Jealousy: In the secular world, relationships often emphasize exclusivity, with phrases like “my man” or “my woman” signaling a claim of possession. While this reflects commitment, it can also lead to unhealthy control or jealousy, which contradicts the biblical ideal of love as patient, kind, and not envious (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

• Fidelity and Boundaries: Secular norms generally uphold fidelity in marriage, recognizing that exclusivity fosters trust and stability. However, the sense of “belonging” is sometimes misinterpreted as ownership. This can strain relationships if it leads to possessive or domineering behavior.

• Challenges of Possessiveness: Possessiveness, while often seen as a sign of love, can become destructive. It may result in mistrust, emotional abuse, or objectification, undermining the partnership's foundation. A healthy marriage prioritizes respect, open communication, and shared goals.

Reconciliation of Biblical and Secular Views

• Belonging vs. Possession: The Bible acknowledges that married couples belong to one another in a covenantal sense: "The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife." 1 Corinthians 7:4. This belonging reflects commitment and unity rather than ownership. It highlights a shared stewardship of the marital relationship under God's guidance.

• Healthy Exclusivity: Both biblical and secular perspectives value fidelity and exclusivity. However, biblical teachings frame these values within the context of sacrificial love and mutual submission, encouraging couples to serve and uplift each other.

• Christ-Centered Identity: For New Testament believers, identity and value are found in Christ, not in being someone's possession. This truth should inspire couples to cultivate relationships marked by grace, love, and equality, avoiding the pitfalls of possessiveness.

Practical Takeaways for Couples

• Focus on Partnership: Recognize that marriage is a team effort. Work together as equals, supporting and encouraging one another.

• Avoid Possessiveness: Guard against attitudes that treat your spouse as property. Foster trust, respect, and open communication.

• Keep Christ at the Center: Build your relationship on a foundation of faith, seeking God's guidance through prayer and Scripture.

• Promote Mutual Respect: Value your spouse's individuality while nurturing your shared goals and dreams.
  

The question of “possession or not” in marriage reveals deeper truths about love, commitment, and faith. Biblically, marriage is a sacred partnership rooted in mutual submission, sacrificial love, and a shared identity in Christ. While secular views often emphasize exclusivity, they sometimes miss the mark by equating love with ownership. Couples who embrace the biblical vision of marriage will find a relationship built on respect, trust, and unity. By focusing on partnership rather than possession, they can experience the fullness of God's design for marriage—a union that reflects His divine love for humanity.